My Experience Publishing This Blog Page
On March 28, 2025, I published this page, texting the link to a few people, and the rest of the people were informed about it through my TikTok (all 12 of my followers). This was extremely difficult for me, often asserting to people, “please don’t make fun of me”.
The one person (who I will refer to as Steve) I talked to concerning my fear of putting my thoughts onto the internet complimented me on my bravery. I tried to explain that a guest speaker came to my writing/literature class; she said she doesn’t feel afraid to write about her personal experiences because that’s what writing is: vulnerability. I held this close as I sent the link to my friends and family. Still, it wasn’t much comfort. Until Steve said, “I’m sure that the guest speaker felt very vulnerable the first time they put something out to the public”. That made me feel good about myself since writing is hard. Publishing writing is hard, but once I made like $200 on an essay about growing up. I hope to gain a lot more from this, not monetarily but in spirit. I’m no longer writing someone else’s prompt or worrying about a grade. I have freedom and control, but that might also mean vulnerability and openness. It’s scary, but my friend reminded me that most writers will experience that fear of allowing the world to judge them.
The other thing I’ve come across is someone calling me “brave”. I’ve always hated that word “bravery”. It makes me feel like my actions are unwanted and strange. I understand that they are trying to compliment me, but I don’t feel good about it because it feels like they’re saying, “What you did is embarrassing, but I appreciate your ability to be embarrassed publicly.” But I’m learning to accept that I’m brave, even though most of the time that feels far from the truth.
My privacy and my respect for others’ privacy became a concern. So, about thirty minutes after its publication. I chose to make the site password-protected, delete a couple of articles, and remove some information about others. I am still deciding whether that is the right choice and if I should remove any personal information about myself so I can write anonymously, which sounds appealing but is also not what I envisioned for this page. I made some edits to remove any identifying information (i.e., taking down my picture and getting rid of personal information in my bio), and it doesn’t feel like it’s untrue to my vision. Maybe what I want from this will change over time, and I can always change the privacy based on that.
I haven’t heard a lot of feedback from anyone besides my family, which is fine. I only want people who enjoy my writing to read it. Not people who feel an obligation to. But I hope that as I keep writing, I’ll improve my skill and also my ability to not worry what others think about me. If anyone doesn’t like it, they don’t need to read it or even talk to me for that matter. I like who I am and how I write (even though I’m always hoping to improve in both those categories). My friend (who I will refer to hear on out as Donovan, since he may be a recurring character) and I talked about what makes people devoid of personality or critical thinking. They have the capacity, but turn it off to live a happy life. Yes, Donovan and I are “red pill/blue pill people”. I’m happy I’m not that person who turns off my thoughts to fit in with others. I’m happy that I feel all these emotions and have all these interests that I can write about, so I’m going to do it.
So reach out if you have anything to say at all :)
